i am your kryptonite

Some awesome title

The insecurities

We all have it. Oh c’mon even the famous have it. But how do you handle it? Do you show it in a cute way? Or do you hide it and suppress it? Its something that is poisonous if kept hidden and ignored. It fuels anger if not properly managed (at least that is how it works for me). No words can properly mend it. Well unless you’re some nut job to can be easily be misled. I wish I was a nutjob. As the band Extreme sang it.

“More than words, is I ever need to make me feel.. that your love for me is real..”.

Again, it can be a good starting point to “wake up the dragon”. Oh! And im not paraphrasing about sex. What I meant was really anger or rage. And when it’s lighted up no amount of words can extinguish it. So always remember, thread lightly.

The thing is, some people would find it cute and might toy with it for a while. And as you play with it. It grows to be that damn dog to bite you in the ass. Then, when its all flamed and burning. They tend to fight back and try to extinguish it with fire to fire. Well now, thats just stupid. You know you cant kill fire with fire. You need the cool-calm water. Or a fire extinguisher would be best. If you have it.. and if all else fails. Just leave it be and break up. Or wait, you can also submit and say that you were a comolete moron to disregard and toy with it. Well your choice.

The doubts

Would you doubt someone coming up to you with a bag full of cash and saying you can have it? Would you not ask why? Would not try to justify even in your head why the hell is he givinh you a ton cash? Of course you would, well not most of you kind though. And I’m being racist here take note. You seek reason, as to why is he even doing this? Or how in seven hells do you deserve it? We seek answers and justifications. Just to prove its reality, because we all know. That something might be in the other door waiting for the right time to sprang the perfect trap.

You can’t blame yourself for this actually. It has stem out from your “background”. Yes background! It means its where you came from. How you live your childhood, your young-adulthood. It comes from the experiences we all say are gold and should never be disregarded. Yet, we all know what those experienced turned us. If not for good but for the worst. You can never believe what they say, coz’ from what you’ve been through. All they want is to trick you. To manipulate you.

You believed them that you can’t drive yet coz your legs can’t reach the pedals yet. You believed them when they told you that your getting this as long as you’re being nice and good. Yet, in the end you didn’t. You believed them that when you did what they said you’ll be rewarded. But, it was yet another lie. Or, you believe them that she loves you. Yet, she mislead you when she ran away for a night with her ex. You believed them when they said, you’ll get this and that and nothing in return. And on the day you expect it. It was never yours after all.

Bottom line, they’d lie to you. All you can do is believed and accept what scarce truth there is.

To be continued. ..

The plunge in brain juice

Paranoia [ˌpærəˈnɔɪ.ə] (adjective: paranoid [ˈpærə.nɔɪd]) is a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs, or beliefs of conspiracy concerning a perceived threat towards oneself.

— I have suddenly felt this weird today. I was talking (texting actually) with my-lifes-moon-and-stars when I suddenly had this fear. Fear that I can’t actually point out where is comming from. The sudden water fall of ‘what ifs’. And a ton if insecurities.

I was never sure in my whole life. Until now, now I’m sure I love her. But, this some kind of demon that feeds me doubts is frightening. I’m scared to death for what I’m feeling, that I might destroy us. I might push her away. I must learn to control this anxiety. To level it.

We are two different person and we have different views on all of the things. Yet, we connect on a level which displays hope for such struggles.

I’m scared. I want to tell you. But, I don’t know how. I’ve been in all doubts all of my life. But I don’t want to doubt this. What we have. What we have is beautiful. What we have is what I prayed for all this time. I love you. I know you know that. Still it scares the shit out of me for the endless possibilities of what you and I can do to break each others hearts.

I have things of love doing that you dont like. While you have things you love doing that I dont like. It scares me. Help. :(

How To Be More Romantic

psych-quotes:

A common relationship complaint is that the romance that you used to have is missing. Or maybe you weren’t romantic enough to start. That’s easy to change with these tips:

·         Think outside the box. Come up with creative date ideas to show that you are really thinking of them rather than always doing the same old thing.

·         Make an effort. Cook for them rather than getting takeout, for example. Going the extra mile and making a special effort to please them shows how much you really care.

·         Remember their favorite things. Take note when they mention their favorite ice cream flavor or favorite childhood movie. They’ll be touched later when you show up with it at your next date.

·         Set the scene. Don’t just invite him or her over to watch a movie. Have candles lit and cozy blankets ready to cuddle up in. Or make sure to have flowers on the table if you’re cooking for them, or their favorite music playing. Spending time on those extra details goes a long way in increasing the romance.

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Inconsistent algorithms

I get it. I dont have that sharp chin. That spartan shoulders and chest. Or that Olympic abs. Or even the gladiator ass. But atleast have the consistency when you say thay you dont want that shallow reason on fucking someone. Atleast be that consistent. You may read this or not. You may find this or not. And I might regret what I’m about to say. But hear this out. Girls are lining up to blow me. Girls are lining up to fuck me. And girls know I have my ways on pleasuring them. I dont want to that guy who would brag of what I sacrifice for this relationship. I just want you to know that I know what I signed up for. And I’m trying my best to be atleast consistent on what I say and do.

So, fuck with your stupid ideals about sex. You don’t know what I’ve been through and what I’ve done and what I know. And please take note. Im not mad at you. I’m enraged of your inconsistency. Look at yourself and tell me who’s shallow about sex now?

Smoking-acidic-cholesterol-sweets

In the past, I offend come here to be that ranting-bitch (hey, its my blog!) that we all hate. Now, I’m here not coz im another emotional-train-wreck. Rather, im fucking bored. Seriously! Where am I navigating my life to? Howly shit. Im doing it! Haha! Anyhow, im hungry, the fridge is full. Problem is, its full lf sweets. The damn weather is like hell we could ever imagine! Its easter. Vacs’ almost over. Tired. Bored. Damn it!

11:59

mystrangesilhouettes:

You’re beautiful.’

You lie to my steady gaze and caught fire on my cold response. I seek nothing but the reality you seem to evade and burn me with glittered euphemism. I don’t need sugar-coating on anthems repeating. I provoke the jilted truth—the one you duct taped behind your clouded cranium. The only gain I have to your soul. The only vindication I sought to repeat. Nothing more. Nothing less.

‘Shut up and kiss me.’

longtallandcute:

I think, my dear, I need your lips
wrap’t round me, then your hips
t’ have ground me fine as dust -
& scattered to the winds of lust.